we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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