This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
