Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
