the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
