Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Farmville is her only friend.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
