Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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