I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
