So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
