I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
