im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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