Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
