sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
