I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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