And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
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hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I supernannyed him into submission