I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.