Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
