For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.