I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Green mimosas i think yes
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.