Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today