goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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