I puked a lego.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
