Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
