everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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