Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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