Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
