You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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