im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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