hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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