found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
