I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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