Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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