Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
