dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
