i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
