Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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