K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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