I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i now understand why vodka
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
