Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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