just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
