I'm going to jail i love you
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
