would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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