There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
