I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
