I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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