I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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