NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
