come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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