Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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