Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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