I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
