Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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