I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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