Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
