Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
