i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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