Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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