Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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