is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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