Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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