You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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