I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
