I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Of course I have a pirate flag
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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