If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
