normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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