I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
