So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
